Jenny Heston

How do you feel about the “F” word???

How do you feel about the “F” word? Does it make you cringe?

Do your shoulders go up around your ears, a possible shudder or does it make your teeth hurt?

Do you glare at the person who uses “that” word and then turn your back?

Do you tell them how offensive you find that word and that the use of that word shows limited development?

Oh yes, by the way, I’m not talking about the word – Fuck – I’m talking about the word Forgiveness.

Forgiveness, such a gorgeous word, but so frigging tricky to actually do, yet exceptionally important for your sake, not anybody else’s. You know the old saying – “Holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking a glass of poison and hoping the other person dies?” It’s so true, half the time the person you are angry at doesn’t give a flying fig, can’t remember, doesn’t care or a myriad of other reasons, but you holding onto this energy does hurt you. So unless you are one of the exceptional few who has figured out how to ingest a substance and send it through the ethers into another human body, you might want to try a different route.

About 8 years ago one of my fabulous mentors advised me that I had a bit of an issue with forgiveness and they suggested I should work on that. Excuse me? I don’t carry grudges, I have no resentments, all is well in my world – mmmm, have to say, bullshit. So I chanted the Ho’oponopono for 2 weeks (yes a full 2 weeks, most of the time under my breath). Now if you don’t know what I’m talking about, or think that I am referring to some exotic tropical beverage, it’s the prayer of forgiveness and it’s super simple there are 4 lines. You pull the image up of the person or situation and sing, say, chant “I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.”

Now that may sound totally daft to you or you may have worked with it, but it does work. If you want more information there are some fabulous sites online with a more detailed methodology and the back piece of where it came from.

So after the allotted time my response was – Sweet! I did two weeks of this so I’m all good right? I’ve released any anger, resentment etc that was there. The answer that came back was yes and Heck NO! I had most certainly dug deep and forgiven my 3rd grade teacher, my ex-husband, and everyone or anything else that I had a resentment to, but I hadn’t bothered forgiving myself.

My delicious ego kicked up with “Why do I need to forgive myself, I am a positive paragon of virtue!” (Which I am most certainly not). The fact of the matter is I’m human and I do fuck up (there’s that other F word), I have said unkind things, I have hurt someone’s feelings, I have forgotten a kids assembly at school, I have hurt my own feelings and state of being with huge negative self talk, disparaging comments and self attack.

So what I realised was as fantabulous as it was to do a two week process, I needed to have a daily forgiveness practice, not just a now and then one. Daily I needed to release any anger, blame, shame, judgement, fear or perceived stuff, whether directed at someone else or at myself. Why? Because that stuff can build up and be pushed down and it was limiting me, it was feeding fears, it was something I couldn’t change other than to say “I’m sorry”, it was energy being wasted.

So if you are thinking – I don’t need to practice forgiveness. Really? Come play with me for a moment and let me paint a random day.

You drive to work and someone cuts you off and you have to slam on your brakes to stop from rear ending them. WTH!!!! You were there, in that lane, didn’t they bother looking? At work there is drama happening and you hear through the grapevine that someone you thought was a friend is having a good old gossip about you, and it’s not very pleasant. The work day trudges along and Maria from accounting comes bouncing up to tell you how her latest fling is taking her to Cuba for 2 weeks, yet you can’t get your husband to go to the next State. Traffic is bad on the drive home and you swear, curse and beat yourself up about life in general. You didn’t pitch your very cool idea at the office meeting, you allowed yourself to be talked over…….

You get home to find that your darling family (who’s been home for a few hours now) are all just lounging around, or are out, the house is a mess and no one has bothered to open the fridge and think “What should we have for dinner.” You cook dinner, your youngest is in a foul mood and apparently feels it’s all your fault so most certainly acts out, you have to heckle the kids to do their homework and then you receive an email from work that asks for yet another thing that wasn’t meant to be happening for 2 more weeks and finally after everyone else has been tended you fall into bed exhausted.

So no resentments, no anger, no self attack?

If you can say you have none of the above then I should come meet you and you better be sitting under a Bodhi tree and looking uber serene!

So I invite you every night before you close your peepers, make a list of what you forgive, who you forgive and most importantly forgive yourself. Forgive your fears, your shame, your blame and your judgement, forgive the neighbour and their yappy dog that barks at 5am. Come back to the place of loving and appreciating yourself. The reality is you are awesome and you are human, that doesn’t mean you need to spend your time beating yourself up and holding onto anger. The more you forgive those around you and yourself, the more space you create in your life to flourish.

Drinking water or a nice cuppa tea is far better than drinking poison.

When you wish upon a star……..

Jenny Heston · 3:19 pm ·

Eleven years ago, when my youngest was 2, I realised that although I used ritual and manifesting exercises in my life daily I tended to do that alone and not with my kids. So I created a new tradition to teach my kids about releasing, clarity, intention and manifesting.

The first weekend after New Years became our family new year’s celebration. It is a celebration which calls to all of us to release, get clear, focused and start a fresh.

As the skies start to darken in the late afternoon a feast is prepared and put on to gently burble away. Whilst it cooks we all gather in the living room with pieces of blank paper and pencils. Candles are lit, calming music is playing and the space is set. We each snuggle up into our corner and write (for the little ones that aren’t at that place yet, they draw).

What do we write?

Whatever we want to release personally, within a family structure, within our community and globally; some of us scribble away like mad fiends, others have less to write. But it’s all about letting go of habits, beliefs, behaviours, thoughts; ways of being that no longer serve.

We don’t share these things, these are deep and dark and private. It’s interesting to see how people fold their lists or what they turn them into when they are finished; everything from paper aeroplanes to pom-pom’s, to flowers. When everyone is done we don our coats and boots and go outside into the snow and the dark and set those gorgeous lists on fire. As the paper ignites the sparks get whipped up into the air, taking with it any residue or baggage and gently blowing it away.

The light and the warmth of the house beckon and when everything is burned to a crisp and released we all scurry inside and peel off our layers. The music changes and there are large stars cut out of Bristol Board. There are pens, crayons, glitter, shiny things, paints – you name it, all waiting to be used and to bedeck a star. Then whether it is with words, pictures or phrases you take the time to decorate your star as to what you would like to create/be/manifest/do in the upcoming year. It’s so fun to see what comes out for each person.

The intentions are set, the desires are launched like massive rockets and laughter abounds.

When the stars are finished we share them, we don’t need to explain them, just share. There are no questions; there is no judgement, after all each of these are personal. Then when the tidy up is completed and glitter has been wiped away we all sit around a gorgeously laid table and share in a wonderful feast and the stars get placed on the kitchen wall so that every day we can read them, look at them and think – YES!

We have carried on with this tradition now for 11 years, and some of the stars have become more complex and some have become simpler. Some years the decorating of them seems to take hours and other years it is more a case of pouring out the yearnings, desires, intentions and goals in written words all over the star.

This year we did our stars on the weekend and one of the boys asked if I kept the ones from the prior year. I have kept them all. So I went and dug through a box and hauled them all out, the kids were amazed to find that a lot of their wishes, visions and desires from a year or so ago had all happened. They had created and manifested the intentions and wishes they had written on their stars.

It made me laugh and think of the song that Jiminy Cricket sang to Pinocchio – When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you. When you wish upon a star your dreams come true.

Weekly Reading January 9th – First of 2017

Jenny Heston · 4:17 pm ·

Happy 1st reading of this glorious New Year! I hope you had a relaxing, nourishing holiday season and have picked your WOTY that will become your touchstone in every aspect of your life. I took some lovely quiet time between Christmas and New Year and did a few releasing processes which helped clean out my energy (so now it’s even more sparklicious), which in turn helped me find my word and this year it is – SHINE! So with that as my touchstone it’s been a busy first week creating new programmes to better serve you, a new e-book is on the way and a delicious challenge is being created for March. So let me ask, how has your first week of this year been?

One thing I have noticed with myself and with others is the perfection gremlin raising his ugly head. So often when we have a big vision for the year – I mean a kick arse big vision and then enter into the planning mode a sense of getting lost in the minutiae and overthinking the tiny details starts flailing around. Which, for me, in turn kicks up my ever lurking “perfectionist” mindset and then everything goes to hell in a hand basket for an hour as fear starts creeping in or I decide I need to distract myself by watching a ridonculous video on Facebook. Can you relate to this at all?

So before we go see what glorious guidance this delicious new Oracle deck has for us, let’s take a moment to get centred, clear and present.

Now let’s go see what’s in store for this week.

SISTERS OF THE SACRAL SPIRAL

I create by weaving a web of love, drawing threads from the past and looping these with threads of the future, drawing them together, back and forth, over time, until the beautiful present moment is rich, full and abundant with love interwoven. What this means is that when you grow you do not only grow in one direction. You are a natural creation and so you grow according to natural law. That means you grow and expand in spirals rather than straight lines. Expansion means that not only will you encounter more light as you grow, but you’ll also tap into more of your shadows and that brings with it its own tests and challenges – and opportunities, of course.

You are going into, or are already in, an intense period of personal and spiritual growth. This will entail much joy and forward movement towards your destiny, and also some confrontation with the darkness in your own being – fear, doubt, grief – but more than that, any part of you that is unwilling to let go and trust in what is taking place. You will need to trust more than you ever have before. The universe wants to bring more abundance, fulfillment and experience to you than exists in your world at present. So you’ll need to be more open and receptive to what is on its way. Keep trusting, keep going. Love is guiding you and it is prevailing, but you have to trust in the process.

BLESSING TO BEGIN

Accepting my blessings and help will not create dependency or prevent you from taking responsibility for applying yourself to a task. My gifts imply amplify the results of your efforts. I do this because I am invested in your success. It will bring happiness to more people than you realise and your desires, and mine, are in perfect accord. You are being given a divine leg up, a blessing to begin. The Divine is going to help you launch something important – an idea, a seedling of hope, a new start. Accept the help and opportunity that so easily comes your way now, but also remember that you are being given help because there is something of great worth here. If there are new opportunities coming your way, act on them. Say yes!

Whatever stage you are at in the manifestation of your dreams, be it the earliest glimmer of a vision or one that you have invested decades of your life to and on which you are far along the path, the gift of the Mother is bestowed upon you – her red poppy of success. She has guided you and shall continue to do so, offering protection whenever needed whilst allowing you room to spread your wings. Ask for help and trust also that whatever is before you, you can handle it, even if sometimes you question that before conquering the issue at hand. The assurance and blessing of the Divine Mother empowers your own soul to take even the most apparently impossible or intimidating of prospects and turning them into accomplishments whilst growing in self-confidence and self-mastery. So believe in yourself. The Divine Mother does.

SURRENDER SENSITIVE SISTER, BE MOVED BY THE MOON

You know what you know. Even when you don’t know how you know! I speak to you through that knowing. The intuition that is beyond logic. The feeling that has no physical proof as yet. The instinct to keep going, to trust yourself and take the journey before you. Be open and truthful with all that you feel and resist nothing. It shall then simply flow, changing like the phases of the moon, naturally and without effort on your part.

Something is happening. You cannot see it, but in your most sensitive and responsive moments you feel it. You are asked to explore your particular way of sensing energy. Don’t discount what you feel. Recognise, honour and be moved by it. You are gifted with an ability to feel what is before the conscious mind of others recognise it – a gift for perceiving what is going to be because you feel it in your bones. It matters not whether another sees or feels as you do. You are meant to be moved by the moon. It is part of your nature. Don’t try to toughen up or protect yourself, or become less sensitive, less emotionally-attuned or less moved by energy and feeling. This can become your greatest asset, a source of wisdom, truth and even strength. Do not be hesitant to embrace your gifts. You shall find a way to work with them so you are not compromised or depleted.

If you have been feeling something – a choice, a need to express a feeling, the need to pursue a course of action – that seems entirely at odds with your rational mind – trust in and explore the impulses from within. Always call on the guidance that loves you unconditionally and then follow your feelings as they guide you along your divine life path with intelligent grace.

Wishing you a glorious week, warm toes and cups of tea. The deck we used today is called Wild Kuan Yin by Alana Fairchild. See you next Monday and if you want to receive these in your inbox, please sign up.

Weekly Reading December 19th

Jenny Heston · 4:01 pm ·

Happy glorious Monday and almost Solstice (I love Solstice), to me it is a time of reflection, going inwards and really having a nosy around my soul and psyche. This year we will have our ritual of a gorgeous cedar spiral walk and I am making a glorious Solstice smudge out of Frankincense, Myrrh, Cedar and Juniper – I will write more about that tomorrow. It’s also the birthday of my youngest monster, so a great lesson in balancing frenetic boys and celebrating the inward. HA! On the weekend we also lit the 4th candle of Advent – which is the candle of Peace.

Ahhh Peace, such a lovely sounding word, but often a difficult state of being to get into. What does Peace mean to you? To me it is inclusion, acceptance, understanding and a strong hopeful love that radiates out from every cell of my being. Sometimes it is there very fleetingly and other times it seems to last much longer.

So with Peace in mind let’s go see if we can find some prior to picking cards.

So let’s go pick.

TURQUOISE LOTUS MOTHER

Turquoise Lotus Mother brings precious healing to you now. Allow yourself to be lifted out of your struggle, beloved one. An old pattern is finally in its death throes, something that weighed heavily on you from your past. This is can be one of the most testing times to allow something to go, just when it seems to be demanding of your time, focus and attention. Yet do not doubt, you have actually learned the lessons it required of you and now you are being blessed with an opportunity to receive karmic healing.

Your Soul has learned what it needed from the situation and it has asked for a divine hand up, so that it might continue on its divine path of growth without unnecessary karmic weight pulling it down. Listen to your guidance now. If you have been working with crystals, turquoise in particular is recommended to empower you and help you to heal.

DAUGHTER OF THE PHOENIX

When the Soul is ready to spread its wings, it goes through a deep cleansing, purification and preparation for new levels of spiritual wisdom, power and light. Just like the Phoenix that is baptised through celestial fire to be born anew, you are going through such a phase of heavenly purification, preparation and initiation. This is an advanced phase of soul growth and soon after you will enjoy greater spiritual peace, divine power and advancement on your divine life path, Kuan Yin, Daughter of the Phoenix, has been through fire both physical and heavenly and has ascended into a position of great spiritual peace, power and authority. She guides you now to claim your rebirth and ascend.

Do not fear the challenges. You would not be taking these “spiritual exams” if you were not ready to live at a higher spiral of consciousness. Have some faith in your own progress and remember not to get attached to what is “leaving” your consciousness as you are preparing to ascend. Surrender that which needs to be burned away.

SHINING LOTUS

There are times when it makes sense to be discreet, until you find your inner strength so that you feel empowered enough to share your thoughts, feelings and beliefs without wavering, even in the face of challenge by another. At other times, we benefit ourselves and others by taking a risk and allowing the inner lotus blossom of our true Self to shine forth, for all to behold.

Have you been hiding in the spiritual closet, beloved? Sometimes it makes sense to avoid sharing your thoughts and feelings about spiritual beliefs and other personal matters until they are clearer in your own mind. However, there are also times when hiding your deepest truths away from the world will no longer protect you but actually hold you back from living your divine destiny, shining the lotus light of your own Soul and walking your path in the world.

If there is something that you have been holding within, you are guided to listen to your heart for the right time and the best way to share it. Be gentle with yourself and know that you have a right to be here on this planet in your own truth and that no matter what the response, whether a response of affirmation and love, or a response of discomfort, your truth serves the greater good.

So delicious one, we will be back on January 2nd – the first Monday of 2017! With Mercury Retrograde and the holiday season in full tilt, I wish for you and yours Peace, Hope, Love and Joy (oh and lots of mince pies!)

Weekly Reading December 12th

Jenny Heston · 4:15 pm ·

Glorious Happy Monday to you delicious one! We had a large dump of snow here this last weekend, so everything is garbed in glorious pristine white and looking very fresh and crisp. Which in turn will reflect back the glorious Full Moon that is happening tomorrow (the last supermoon of 2016). This past Sunday we lit the 3rd candle of advent which is Joy. Personally I love the word Joy and try and embody it daily. On the weekend I had a great discussion with a good friend about the meaning of the word – she felt it was exactly the same as happiness – it most certainly isn’t!

To me Happiness is normally a transitory thing and can be brought about by something external and is more focused on the self’s pleasure. Whilst Joy is the fibre of your Soul and your inner self. I love what Danielle LaPorte says about it: – “ Happiness is like rising bubbles – delightful and inevitably fleeting. Joy is the oxygen – ever present.”

So I invite you to come play and reconnect to your Joy. Gently close your eyes down and begin to breathe deeply in through your nose and sigh it out through your mouth. Feel the cares, concerns, disappointments, any need to control fall away like big fat snowflakes drifting past you to land at your feet. Keep breathing in this way and I invite you to see in your mind’s eye that you are on the side of a lovely large mountain, where the snow is deep, the air is crisp and fresh and the trees are ladened with snow. Over your left arm you are carrying a large basket and in your right mitted hand are the strings to your toboggan. You are warm and cosy and your nose is tingly with the cold crisp air. Breathe in, breathe out. As you look down into your basket you see that it is filled with all sorts of edible decorations. There are pine cones covered in fat and seeds, strings of popcorn and cranberries, large nuts on strings, dried fruit wreaths, straw angels, and a myriad of other lovely decorations.

As you make your way further up the mountain, through the snow you see ahead of you a glorious fir tree with her sparkly snow dress on. You park your toboggan in the snowbank and start to decorate her with all your gorgeous decorations. Slowly and reverently you hang, weave and place all your offerings on the tree and when you are finished you step back a few paces to have a look. She is glorious and you feel your heart swell. As you start to walk away you hear a rustle, and then another, a bird call which is soon answered from another tree nearby. As you turn around to see what is happening, you are filled with such Joy and contentment. Squirrels are scrambling up the tree for the nuts you hung, birds are hanging off the large seed stuffed pinecones, a deer is gently nibbling on one of the straw dolls and a large hare is tentatively testing out a dried fruit wreath. All your gorgeous gifts are being received and Joy swells all within you and radiates out around you. Breathe in, breathe out. After watching this wonderful animal celebration for a while, with a large smile on your face, a tender tear in your eye you turn and tuck yourself onto your toboggan and scoot down the mountainside with the snow spraying around you and your laughter pouring out of you. You are alive, you are loved, you are Joy! Breathe in and as you breathe out send a gentle blessing and a thanks. Then when you’re ready slowly open your eyes and come back into your body.

Ready to see what guidance and insight is for you?

BE THE HUNTER, NOT THE HUNTED

Do you feel you are at the beck and call of circumstances, situations and relationships that are outside of your control? Is your attention being called away from what you love – from your passionate focus upon your own journey and creative self-expression? Are you feeling roped into becoming a support, tonic, saviour and heal-all for others?

There is a big difference between healthy supportiveness in a relationship – which includes healthy self-support – and ignoring your own journey out of misplaced guilt, shame, unworthiness or the belief that the needs of others are more important than your own. That is not compromise. That is unhealthy and neglectful of yourself.

You are being asked to see through the assumptions, expectations, tantrums etc that may be put upon you by yourself or others. See through them to the truth! You are capable of seeing the truth, out-smarting old patterns and responding more creatively to craft new and improved relationships. There is a message coming your way and it will be important to you and you are not to paint it as anything more or less than what it is. Sit with you heart. Take your time. Even if there is a deadline for your answer.

You will be able to bend and stretch time so that in your relaxation, you can feel for what your truth is, in the situation at hand and respond appropriately. Mother Nature offers you the wisdom medicine of the owl – the ability to hear what is not spoken and see what is hidden in darkness. Trust what you feel beyond appearances.

SPIRALS OF MANIFESTATION

The creative rebellious path of love moves in spirals. It is not linear. Sometimes our mind decides that the way forward is to take clear steps from one point to the next logical point. However, there is a genius within that can guide us on an alternative route. This can happen through trust and wisdom rather than rigid adherence to what on the surface appears to be logical progression.

You are in the midst of a spiral of manifestation. Something is coming into being, even if you think it is further away than ever before. How amazing it will seem when what you have been dreaming of, falls into place. Suddenly what you have been thinking of creating will plonk into your reality, seemingly out of nowhere – because it was just around the bend, just out of view on the spiral of manifestation and you could not see it coming.

In truth, it was coming to you all along! Sometimes when we feel the furthest away from what we want, we are actually closer than ever before. Just one turn on the spiral loop of creation can see your manifestation taking root in the world. You must hold true to your faith and keep working on your progress. You are a big, brave, ancient soul. You have enough chutzpah to believe it so that you can see it sooner, bigger and brighter! All is unfolding perfectly whether you feel it right now or not. You don’t need the anxiety that comes from rushing towards your destiny. Try not to worry quite so much about the future. You will attract what you want and need so much more enjoyably if you relax and deal with the here and now.

CONSCIOUS CONNECTIONS

There is a call for more intimacy in your immediate relationships. There is an opening for heart to heart communication that can salvage and restore a broken relationship or friendship, if you are willing to honour your differences and look to what unites you.

We are not here to judge each other, just to love, to be loved, and to let go of those that cannot accept us as we open up to those who can. It may or may not be obvious at first but kindred spirits are going to enter your life to help you connect with your deeper feelings and creativity. They will give wings to your inspirational ideas and big dreams.

Sometimes webs that have joined people together are broken and that is appropriate as people may outgrow what once held them together. Remain open to healing connections and to allow people to be close to your. Trust in the process that draws people in and out of your life. Resist nothing and seek wisdom in all.

Wishing you a glorious Full Moon, warm gingerbread people, cosy soxs and JOY!

Jenny Heston

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