Joy, Grief and Mercury Retrograde…..

Happy Marvellous, Merry, Musical, Mystical, Magnificent, Manifesting Monday!

How are you – really?

I ask as I truly want to know.  Our patterns of processing anger, fear, change, anxiety, joy and grief are not linear.  We don’t work through them daily from point A to point B and then tada – we are fine!.

So how do we feel what we need to feel and not get submerged or lost in it all?

I think it’s exceptionally important to ask oneself “What am I willing to feel or do at this moment in time?”  

An example.  As some of you know my Mothership died 5 months ago and within the space of 5 days my family of origin fragmented and was filled with attack, dysfunction and the most ridiculous behaviour I have witnessed from grown arsed adults.  Which left me to do the majority of the packing up of things, as there was only 3 weeks to do it in.

The dysfunction and attacks were so brutal that I postponed the Celebration of Life to allow those individuals to try and get their poop in a group – which still hasn’t happened.  Thus, we are moving ahead with a Celebration this Saturday.

Why am I sharing all this?

Because, to help me be able to do all the pieces that have needed to happen after her death and planning and organising the celebration of life (as the sibling has left it all to me), I put my grief in a box and stuffed it in the back of the closet.

After all, there was so much to do, right?

So the Grief got stuffed and in the midst of that stuffing there have been so many pockets of Joy!

Going on my month-long Odyssey through Ireland and the UK.  Coming home to my family cooking an amazing Thanksgiving dinner.  Playing in my garden.  Hiking with the dogs.  The work that I love.  Planning and implementing a surprise birthday gathering for my only girl the other weekend.  Bowling for my son Sam’s birthday this weekend. 

But yet the Grief kept wriggling in the box and finally blew the lid off on Tuesday.

I woke up bright and early, and Grief came rushing in, along with anger, resentment towards my sibling, abandonment, feeling overwhelmed – you name it and I sobbed for most of the day.  I walked and sobbed, I wrote and sobbed, it all just felt like too much.

There were still so many things to do, to organise to get ready for this Celebration of Life, what the fuck man!

So I took myself and the doggos for a massive walk in the pouring rain and within minutes there was a huge rainbow glistening against the dark clouds and a wee voice reminded me – acknowledge the Joy, find the Joy, pause and feel it.

Which I did.  It was tiny, but the glimmer was there.

Then as I curled up into a ball and my dogs came and snuggled, there was another glimmer, and within two days I was coming back to centre.

So I decided to take that grief, anger, and all the myriad of other feelings along with the Joy and create something.  I gathered a bunch of driftwood, I sat on the ground and I built a 3 foot high Rememberance Tree for the Motherships service.  

Yes, I got cold and wet.  Yes it felt fabulous to take that energy and funnel it into something creative and honouring.  

So with the holidays coming up in the States (Thanksgiving), and then Christmas – for many, the holiday season is full of joy and connection; for others it can be a painful reminder of what’s missing. 

Perhaps you’ve lost someone you love, or maybe you’re grieving the end of a relationship or the loss of a job.  You may be living far from family or grieving the recent election. 

When we don’t allow ourselves to feel pain, we also stifle the experience of joy.

So, grieving well means having resilience for feeling the pain, but also knowing that you are okay, that you will make it through, and, as a result, that you will experience both immense pain and immense joy.

Remember, whatever it is you’re holding, it’s valid and can be acknowledged in a way that feels personal and meaningful to you.  

Find something that you do daily that is the tether to guide you back to Joy.  

What is that for you?  

How do you bring yourself back to centre and reconnect to something bigger than yourself that loves you to pieces?

And remember – Mercury Retrograde starts November 25th and goes through until December 15th.

So instead of giving it a bad spin, let’s reframe it.

While Mercury is moving through the underworld, it is a good time to slow down, go back over things, revisit the past, and pay attention to subconscious thoughts and programming. 

Mercury retrograde can be a healing and highly intuitive time when we use it this way.

Re-visit, Re-envision, Re-lease, Re-imagine.

When we slow down and take in the big picture we can do that, yes?

So with all that being said – let’s crack on with the reading.  When I went to the cards to ask who wanted to share their wisdom and insight with you this week, the glorious “Love Your Inner Goddess” guides came out big and bold.  Now if these are new to you, please let me introduce them (as it would be rude not to).  

“These guides have come to help you awaken and express your divine feminine spirit, to live from your heart, to empower your true self – and to discover your sacred rebel within, to say no to the voices of fear and hate and become a voice for love, truth and spirit on the earth.  Living as a soul, with truth, takes real courage in this world.  We are often taught to follow the rules and be a good boy or girl – and that if we do this, everything will be OK.  Your inner goddess thinks that is a bunch of nonsense.  She wants so much more for you.  She wants you to live a beautiful divine destiny.  She will show you how to be a loving rebel, breaking the rules that go against your heart and soul, changing the game and playing from the heart.  She’ll show you how to live the life that is meant only for you.  You are meant to stir up healing change and be a voice for what is wise, loving and true.  There are issues in our own lives and the world that need to change, that need to be healed.  Your inner goddess knows how to bring about healing change with love, playfulness, courage and dignity.  She is a fearless minx who will help you dance, love, storm and laugh your way into a more beautiful world, created from the heart. “ 

Seriously, the perfect guides for this time.  Woosah!

So gorgeous one, breathe.  Just breathe, BE and allow yourself to relax, your mind to calm, your breath to slow and ask your wise inner self – what do I need to know this week.  Then when you are ready, pick the card or cards that tug at your heartstrings – don’t let your mind pick!

Did you remember to pick?

Let’s go have a gander shall we?

ANGEL OF TRUTH

The truth wants to be told, needs to be heard.  It may seem like the whole world wants to believe in a lie, and so you wonder if you are crazy, if you are the only one who is thinking differently and desiring the real story to emerge.  Yet those that fight against the truth are even more in need of it!  There can be no healing, no freedom, no moving one without it.  

You are going to be blessed with a truth revealed, a realisation about yourself, the world or others that will bring you relief.  It will happen at the right time.  It will set your soul free.  

Sometimes, the lies we are repeatedly told become so familiar that we forget that they are lies and begin to believe that they are real.  Maybe it’s someone judging us that is the lie.  Maybe it’s advertising and the media, which are often more about deceptive manipulation that a source of correct information.  Whatever the source, all untruth teaches us the same thing – that we must be afraid and hate each other.  

When we are fed so  many false truths, it can become hard to remember what real truth feels like.  It can even start to seem like the truth doesn’t matter as much as being able to convince another person to accept your point of view.  This is like poison for the soul.

The soul needs truth like your body needs air.  It keeps it alive.  Deep in your soul, you know what is true, and you know when you, or anyone else, is not being truthful.  You are sensitive enough to know that only truth feels good for you.  You must give yourself permission to be truthful with your own soul and live honestly, authentically and bravely in this world.  It is the only way for you to be really you.  

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Your heart has been chosen by the Divine to be a temple for spiritual light, an inner place where grace and healing can dwell.  This is very special.  A temple is kept clean and pure, scented with sacred perfumes of incense, made beautiful with our feelings uncluttered and spacious so that as much spiritual presence as possible can enter.

When spirit enters and fills the temple of the heart, things of extraordinary beauty take place.  Even the seemingly impossible becomes possible.  Clear your heart temple with forgiveness, gratitude and love for the spirit, so it can fulfil its divine destiny of being a sacred channel for beautiful divine grace.

The mind may believe it has got the power to rule, but, in truth, the heart is queen.  You are a true goddess of love, one who consults the heart for answers.  You will courageously follow the guidance of the heart.  Even when the mind doesn’t want to surrender to the call of the heart, and fearfully lists numerous reasons why it is crazy and stupid and will end badly, you know that the doubt of the mind is no match for the power of the heart.  

Things don’t need to make sense to your mind or to anyone else, they just need to make sense to your heart.  You are already a divine queen, your heart aflame with passionate purpose.  Stay true to your heart’s wisdom and you will change the world!

EARTH GODDESS

To live the dream, we have to surrender the fantasy.  This can be painful.  It feels like the end – when, in fact, it is the beginning.  Once the pain passes, there is the joy of what we have yearned for coming to life.  It may not be as perfect as the fantasy, but it will be real, and it can nourish us.  We can build our appetite for life with dreams, but we cannot be fed by them.  

The soul requires real life experience to become fully alive, to have experiences and grow.  There’s a fantasy that wants to become reality for you.  Don’t let a few gritty moments or human imperfections prevent you from experiencing the joy of heaven on Earth.

You have beautiful dreams and wonderful visions of what life could be.  It is not enough to imagine them.  You want to live them!  This is exactly how you are meant to feel.  For that to happen, you must practise feeling grounded, taking practical earthly steps, one at a time, to bring your dreams to life.

The Universe will send so much help your way, but you are the one who must take the steps.  Spirit cannot do that for you.  Even if you are not sure how your biggest, boldest dreams can come together, you can still ask  yourself, “What is it that I can do now?”

Remember you are an Earth Goddess.  You have the power to manifest your visions, to bring your beautiful ideas to life in the world.  This is what you are here to do.  Remember to love yourself enough to recognise your creative power and use it joyfully each day.  

Fuck yes!  Glorious guides for this time.  Wishing you all a stupendous week and there will not be a reading next week as I need to be present in this experience, see you in December.  Huge hugs and be gentle with yourself, and find your glimmers and Joy moments and hold them tight.