This morning as I was grabbing some groceries, the woman ahead of me asked what my New Year’s resolutions were. I looked at her rather askance and said “I don’t make them as I don’t believe in that process as it doesn’t work for me.” She looked me up and down, gave me a “knowing” smile and turned away. Excuse me?
I used to be one of those people who when New Year’s Eve rolled up would be the first to list off my resolutions loud and proud – learn a new language, bungee jump 5 times in the year, become vegetarian – you name it. Do you know where those resolutions got me? Eating more meat, hating French class and being terrified of bungee jumping.
Was it because I had picked the ‘wrong’ resolution? No (well possibly when it came to bungee jumping as I’m not a fan of tall heights). It was just more a case of not being 110% committed, connected and filled with conviction for my resolution longer than about 2 months.
Think about it, if you are a regular gym goer, do you find yourself avoiding it in January? Why? Because everyone who has decided to lose weight, get in shape or improve their health buys a membership. What do you see come late February/early March – a much emptier gym. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not raining on anyone’s parade who wants to change something, improve something or learn something new.
However, my question is How Do You Want to Feel, whilst your doing whatever it is that you have chosen. When we make a resolution it is purely focused on “DO-ing”, not on the core state of “BE-ing”. In our culture we have been trained to the DO-HAVE-BE model. If I DO this, I will HAVE that and then I can BE happy. How about we flip it? Let’s work with the BE-DO-HAVE model. How do you want to BE? How do you want to feel all year? When you are faced with a challenge what is the BE-ing state you want to drop into, the BE-ing state to support your choices?
Feel? Feel? Yes Feel. Do you want to feel Joyful, Expansive, Radiant, Stronger, Sexier, Wealthier? How do you want to feel?
So are you willing to try something different?
About 7 or 8 years ago I ditched New Year’s resolutions and decided to go with a word (just one word), that I could hold like a touchstone in all areas of my life. A Word of the Year. This was an amazing tool that I learned from Christine Kane. This one simple word represented to me how I wanted to Feel, how I wanted to BE, which in turn massively encouraged me on the activities that I did and has created some wonderful impacts in my life.
As Christine Kane says; “ Let’s say you are one of the many people who would normally choose “Get Organized.” You’re tired of the chaos. So, you think, “I need to get organized. That should be my Resolution this year.” You look around and it feels as if areas of your life are out of control and overfilled with – blaugh.
You sit with your clutter. You spend a few days pondering words that will inspire you. You realize in an “Ah-Ha!” moment that you tend to cling to lots of things. You’re scared to let go, whether it is the trinket someone gave you, the old relationship, the clothes that don’t fit…..So maybe the word for you isn’t “organised”, maybe the word is “Release”. Thus, you choose the word “Release” because it inspires you in a bigger way than “Get organized.”
So, every time you approach your clutter or old relationship patterns you remind yourself of your word. “Release”. You start to let the clutter go. Eventually, you realize that you’re still holding on to lots more than just physical clutter. You realize that you hold onto resentments at old relationships. “Release,” you remind yourself. “Release” is your touchstone. It grows you throughout the year. It becomes your guiding force, not your harsh standard.
So for me in 2012 my word was Flourish and it was delicious to see what happened, in 2013 it was Desire and again it was mind blowing. 2014 was Expand, 2015 was Believe, 2016 was Radiant and 2017 was Trust. I’m still perking my word for 2018, there have been a few contestants, but I like to let it process whilst I reflect on this last year and what felt good and what didn’t feel good then from that place look at my desires and how do I want to feel with my family, my work, my clients, myself. So I would love to hear what your Word of the Year is going to be and why. If you need some help with picking your word, Christine has a lovely Word of the Year tool here, that is totally free.
Once I’ve picked my Word, I make sure that I have an image of it around my home, a little slip in my wallet and it goes in the front of my new planner for the year.
So what is your word going to be this Year?
