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7 Steps to finding your Joy

Where’s your Joy? Virgo New Moon and Equinox is rapidly approaching.

Jenny Heston · 9:33 am ·

Delicious, lovely!  Happy Magickal, Mysterious, Merry, Melodious, Magnificent, Magickal Manifesting Monday!  

How are you?

Let’s talk about Joy shall we?  Where is your daily Joy metre sitting at?  Is it 90 out of a 100? 50 out of a 100?  Or are you having a dalliance in the negative numbers?  (There is no wrong answer to this and I will not be checking your homework!)

Now what do I mean by Joy?

Let’s differentiate between Happiness and Joy, they are both emotions, however Happiness may be caused by luck, good fortune, or other person-centric pleasures. 

Joy is caused by elation at a moment in time. Joy may not always be about oneself but be about others’ contentment also.

Joy is an emotion composed of feelings of happiness, contentment, and harmony. It differs from general happiness in that it is not caused by a particular event but comes from within the individual. … Joy is a generalised feeling that comes from the person.

To put it bluntly, Joy is an inside job!  

So let’s come back to the original question – Where’s your Joy metre sitting?

If your Joy metre is meh, come with me and write a list.  

Around mid June I noticed that my Joy metre wasn’t nearly as high as it normally was.  It was sitting at about 30/100.  It’s not that there was anything wrong in life, I love my clients, my work, but I had got into a tad of a rut of doing the same things over and over.  

Then near the end of July as the anniversary for my big sister approached and the grief rose up, yet alone the holding space for all the family, I realised it was down to 10/100 and by then I couldn’t seem to muster the energy to change it, it felt too hard (does that make sense?)

So the next day I managed to come down with Covid that kicked 7 bells of Hell out of me and my Joy metre went down to about a negative 50!  

Something had to frigging change and shift as this is not how I chose to participate in life.

So I made a list (not a to-do list, but a Joy list).

My list consists of 59 things or more that I want to see, try, do, feel, taste or experience.  All new things to me.  Note – this isn’t “what do I like”, but more “what am I willing to try that I might like?”

So far they range from trying a new hike, to eating pickled lemons, trying a hip-hop dance class, learning a new craft, trying out the ukulele, going to a new market, and a myriad of others.  

Some are simple and easy, some are a tad more complex.  Some cost money, others don’t, I just have to have the willingness and the curiosity to try something new and different and to look out at the world in a way that invites in new as well.

The miraculous part of making the original list is it ignited my sense of curiosity and playfulness and almost every other day I find myself adding something else onto the list that piques my interest.    So I’ve signed up for an “Alice in Wonderland outdoor escape adventure”, where the streets of downtown are turned into an outdoor escape room!

Since starting my list I have tried 6 new things, one of them being kayaking on the ocean and I will say my Joy metre is steadily rising, I feel much more grounded and I look forward to playing everyday.  And this time next year I will have a list of 52 or more “new to me” things I have tried!  

I invite you to try this process, it’s glorious fun and helps you shift your lens of perception.  

Give it a try.  What do you have to lose?  And if you want to go deeper there are 7 Steps to Reclaiming Your Joy that will help you as we approach this New Moon.

As August comes to a close, we welcome in the New Moon in Virgo on August 27th (Saturday).  

Now if you remember New Moons are a fabulous time for setting intentions and making New Moon wishes.  As Forever shares:-

“Falling in the earthy sign of Virgo, there is a grounded energy to this New Moon. It beckons us to sink our feet into the earth, to feel a part of all that surrounds us, and to remember that life is so much easier when we flow in harmony with the season of our lives.

Use the energy of the Virgo New Moon, to accept your reality, to bring yourself back down to Earth, and to recognize that your soul chose to be here, on this planet, at this time. It doesn’t really matter the reason, but knowing you are walking where you are meant to be walking, even if it doesn’t feel like it, can bring a sense of peace into your being. Allow yourself to find truth in that idea, whatever that looks like for you.

Give yourself permission to fully and wholeheartedly accept that you are right where you need to be, and all that is unfolding right now is leading you to your highest growth and highest expression of your soul.

How can you treat yourself as the sacred being that you are?

So as you make your New Moon Intentions (which will walk with you until March 2023), what will bring you more Joy, creativity, ease and flow and help you really honour yourself?

Okay, let’s crack on with the reading.  So when I went to the cards and asked who would like to guide and support this week I giggled when I saw it was The Oracle of Shadows and Light.  With the invitation to walk into the darkness of New Moon, they are positively perfect!

Now if these guides are new to you, please let me introduce them

Wisdom for Misfits, Mystics, Seekers, and Wanderers. 

Bittersweet…Unheard…Unconventional…Rebellious…Cheeky…Whimsical…Invisible.  They’re not the words you often hear associated with the spiritual world, are they?  

Nevertheless, some of the most spiritual beings who have ever lived are those who have been most at odds with what we call the mainstream.  They do not fit in.  They have had moments of despair.  And they know being truthful, and being real, is one of the greatest strengths and spiritual paths of all!  They ask you to step out from the shadows, to no longer hide your light away, and to consult with an oracle that acknowledges your individuality and strange genius!  

How’s that for a warm welcome?

So darling one, take a moment to just be here now (how many times have you heard that and ignored it?) Breathe deep into your belly, let your shoulders relax and allow in your minds eye the sensation of Joy to swirl. Let your Joy show you what her colours look like and give you images. Then when you are ready, pick the card or cards that whisper.

Did you remember to pick?

Let’s go look shall we?

SEWER MERMAID

Your sensuality is beautiful!

You’re being reminded of the treasures you have that you may have labelled “bad” and perhaps even pushed away, forced underneath.  We often have negative thoughts – that we are too short, too tall, our thighs too large, our breasts too small, our hair not right, our face not pretty enough.  We speak to ourselves in negative ways, and we begin to feel we are not good enough.  

And when this takes place, the result can be that we begin to create negative experiences, blockages, and difficulties.  

We push away, rather than attract them.  We hide for fear that what others see will not be good enough. 

But this mermaid of the hidden spaces is here to show you that your dark thoughts have told you lies about your great beauty; you are your own self, and all that you are is perfect, whole, and complete.  

You may try to push her away and refuse to believe that you are beautiful.  But when you are ready, she will swim to you and free you from all the harmful, negative thoughts and experiences, all the “sewage”.  You will begin to believe that no matter what, you are a beautiful being, healthy, attractive, and one who deserves love, respect, and affection.

It’s time to believe in yourself – that you are attractive, beautiful, and worthy of love and respect.  She will show you how to see your body as a place of health, delight, and strength.  Let’s clean up your physical and mental acts.  Let’s love all aspects of the physical self.  

Let us not criticise and hate ourselves, no matter our size, shape, or differences.  We are all unique expressions of the Divine – and that truth most certainly applies to you.  Let us not be ashamed anymore.  

Let us celebrate who we are, and learn to love the differences, and be grateful for all that we have, are, and will be.  

It is time to clean up your act – not of your natural looks, but of the way you have thought about yourself!  Something beautiful has been treated badly.  It is now up to you to begin to reframe your ideas and thoughts and therefore your experiences of yourself, your body, your worth, your ability to attract others, and to see yourself as worthy of love, respect, and consideration.

You are beautiful and very worth loving.  This is the only truth that must be told at this time.  

VIOLET DUCHESS

Stifled, bored and stuck.

Bored!  Stifled!  Ah yes, she’s trying to be “good” and “nice” and polite – but it’s not working.  This lovely and very passionate aristocrat has her fairy wings tucked firmly in, not visible at all, and is sitting stiffly, listening to someone give a lecture on manners.  

She’s polite on the surface, but it’s easy to see (and feel) that she is bored, frustrated, and ready to fly away at the first opportunity.  For now, she will bide her time, but  you can see the frustration growing beneath – and frustration is, after all, only your own life force, turned within, and longing to break free of its restraints.  

In your admirable quest for balance, you can actually become too neutral, pretending to be serene, acting polite, not making waves – and not speaking your truth!  Now that I’ve arrived showing you exactly how you feel, it’s time to discover – or rediscover – a raw and honest emotional reaction you had to a person, or to an issue, and express it. 

It’s all very well being a lover of harmony and not wanting to be a “troublemaker” but being a lukewarm person in regards to situations that really matter is not going to do you any favours.  

Bottling up your true self leads to unhealthy relationships, aches, pains, and even illness!  

Go for the passionate and truthful option – and rediscover just how strongly you can feel, and how much fun you can have! 

Your desire to be liked, to please to be seen as a “lady” or a “gentleman” is cheating yourself out of something wonderful that you deserve to experience.  Sometimes, there are rules that simply need to be broken.  Keeping to the spirit of the law sometimes means breaking the letter of the law, that’s how things change.  

There is a situation at the moment that has revealed itself as unjust, unfair, and absolutely unattractive to you, but you have yet to speak up! 

The most inspiring thing about this situation is that you’ll discover just how safe it is to stand up for what you truly believe in.  Others will be inspired, too, so while it feels like you’re taking a risk, at first, after a while you’ll realise you’ve started your own small revolution.  

THE THREE FATES

What comes around…..

It’s happening again!  Many of us have faced difficulty and troubled times in our lives.  Sometimes the impact of a negative experience is so profound that it leaves us with physical, mental, and yes, spiritual residue for months, even years, after the actual event.  

While you’re still vibrating – as the Three Fates put it – to the energy of a negative experience, you tend to repeatedly attract echoes of that exact experience.  

It seems you need another cosmic reminder of something that needs to be cleared and mastered.  Letting go is this moment’s very important lesson for you to learn.  It’s not about forgetting this lesson – because where’s the wisdom in that?

The Three Fates are suggesting that you move on and learn and actively replace this experience with completely different versions of the same theme.  No more repeats!  This is the opportunity to try something different, and see what magick takes place when you vary the approach!  

You may have been enjoying your own life’s reruns lately – wallowing through the memories and feeling sad, bittersweet, and nostalgic about the Good Old Days, whenever they were, exactly.

You know what?  It’s fine to muse on the past – your memories are precious and do need to be tended.

But it’s another thing altogether to be filled with regret, wishing you’d one things differently.  Life is a constant do-over.  You get a fresh chance every second you are alive.  So stop beating yourself up.  You have an opportunity to heal, to clear, to no longer hold onto and feel sad about the same thing anymore.

You can do things differently – you are not a prisoner of how they have always been done.  What  you have done – even if you judge it to be a mistake – can be reworked and learned from.  That is its wisdom!

You are so not alone – we all have karmic lessons, themes, stories that seem to repeat.  Learn from this.  Beware of what is taking place as a fateful encounter to master Life.  

If you take this approach, you’ll be all the richer for learning – wise, free, and able to help others, too.  

Okay seriously, frigging fabulous guides.  As we talked about Joy and then we expanded it with sensuality, bursting out of the confines and releasing the past – perfect for this New Moon on Saturday.  Sending you massive hugs and squeezes and have a fantabulous list.  Play with Joy!

7 Steps To Reclaiming Your Joy

Jenny Heston · 5:30 pm ·

I have had quite a few people ask me over the last few months about Joy, Passion and where the heck it seems to have gone.  Life on the outside looks really good, they aren’t struggling financially, there are wonderful people that love them, they are highly talented and all the rest – but it feels empty, grey, kinda bleak and as if something is missing.  So what’s with Joy and why does it feel so elusive sometimes?  Has someone drawn too heavily on the Joy bank and therefore there is none for you?  NO.  Let me assure you of that one.  There is more than enough Joy to go around.  I remember those times,  Joy, Passion and Love of Life had seemed to vanish, in fact I am sure they had been flushed down the toilet.  I was trapped in an abusive marriage, and when I walked away with wounds that were physical, emotional, mental and spiritual at some point I ended up taking care of a Mother who was the mirror image of my ex husband.  Lucky me! But hey life happens, and we show up and we need to learn, grow, expand and I had two of the best teachers for that.

First let’s differentiate between Happiness and Joy, they are both emotions, however Happiness may be caused by luck, good fortune, or other person-centric pleasures. Joy is caused by elation at a moment in time. Joy may not always be about oneself but be about others’ contentment also.Joy is an emotion comprised of feelings of happiness, contentment, and harmony. It differs from general happiness in that it is not caused by a particular event but comes from within the individual. … Joy is a generalized feeling that comes from the person.

Well that’s all fine and good to get the ball park idea of the differences, but where the heck do I find it?  I am going to say something that you may not like – Joy is an inside job.  (Yes, I did say that).  Seriously, Joy is not based on an externality, for example you get a new car, you don’t feel Joy, you feel happy.  As you drive the car, relish and remember how you saved for what you wanted, feel the safety, revel in the heated leather seats –  you start to feel Joy when you drive the car, not because of the car per se, but because of the experience.    Does that make sense?

Okay, so let’s say you agree it’s an inside job.  Now what?  From my experience, the more you feel anything the more it becomes a default.  So if you continually feel that the world is out of whack or that there is something wrong with you as you don’t feel Joy and Passion every moment of the day – guess what?  That’s your default.  So it is time to gently, and with massive compassion,  deconstruct that default.  So let’s go have a look at the 7 steps.  

You Have a Choice.  Make a choice to acknowledge those moments of Joy or happiness that occur.  I mean seriously say – thank you, thank you, thank you.  It could be a ladybug landing on your laptop keyboard, a hummingbird dive bombing you as you are too close to their nest.  It could be someone giving you a beaming heart based smile as you pass them on the street.  It could be finding a four leaf clover when you are outside having a cuppa tea.  But if your head isn’t up, your eyes aren’t open and there isn’t a willingness to welcome and see those moments, then you won’t.   I used to write notes that said Joy on them and would have them tucked everywhere, my wallet, in a pocket, in a book and I would give them to friends.  A little reminder to remember to look for Joy not to expect it to come to me, but to look, say hello, welcome it in with an understanding that like a random encounter it could be gone very quickly.  

The more I did this, the more I put my focus on looking for Joy, not with desperation and demand, but with a willingness to see it and invite it in for a party, or a cuppa tea.  

Your Circumstances Don’t Define You.  Some days are challenging, that is fact.  Some people can be very unkind, absolutely twat like and it hurts.  But these are transitory, honestly they are.  You may be feeling confused, stuck, trapped or so overwhelmed you want to find a dark closet to hunker down in.  But in the words of Marie Forleo – everything is figureoutable!  What you are feeling today or what is happening today is not going to be what is happening tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now.  It really isn’t.  The pain slowly dulls, the arsehole leaves, you find a better job, you hang out with people who appreciate you instead of dragging you down.   But note Point 1 – You have a choice.  Do you remember Eeyore from the Winnie the Pooh stories?  He was always gloomy, especially when he lost his tail or someone took his bow.  It’s okay to be gloomy for a bit – but please don’t hand over your life, your wellbeing, your power to someone else.  Don’t let anyone or anything define you for longer than 3 days.  I have a pair of knickers (panties for North Americans) that are huge!  They cover all the way to the boobs and they sit in a large ziploc bag in a prominent area of my office and they are called The Big Girl Emergency Knicker kit.  If needed unzip the bag, place big girl panties on, pull up and crack on.  

You Are Not Alone!  I know some days you may think to yourself – wow, I am all alone in the world.  Honey bee, you really aren’t, it may feel like that and that can be very scary, but you are not alone. Sometimes we feel alone because we feel broken, or not good enough, or that things on the outside look so good, how can I talk about the pain, emptiness I am feeling?  This is where I bring in the G word or the U word, don’t get hooked on the word though.  God, Goddess, Universe, Divine is there, hanging out around you all the time.  But you have to open up a conversation with her.  How?  Just start one as if you are meeting your friend at a coffee shop, share your woes, your dreams, your trepidation, your elation.  Yes, it does mean you might look like you are talking to yourself (I do it verbally as I drive, walk in the woods, sit by the water).  So what?  This energy loves you to pieces!  Think about if you had a best friend come over and you didn’t talk to her the whole time, kinda the same thing.  Talk, say things, write things, share things with others, with yourself, with the Big U or whatever you want to call it.  If you haven’t read Gabby Bernsteins book “The Universe has your back”, I highly suggest you do.   If you dropped your defenses and armour and opened up you would find people galore who would happily sit and listen to you and your story, with no judgement and if you listened to their stories you would find that you are so not alone.  

Silence is Golden, Duct tape is Silver.  You are a complex, delightful and delicious being.  But when was the last time you sat with yourself and instead of focusing on the negative self-talk, you listened.  You asked a question and you just listened for the answer or the silence?  Meditation is fabulous for this and puleaseeeeee – if you dare to say you are too busy to meditate I will have to come give you a stern talking to!  You don’t need a special cushion in a special room with the right crystals, a candle and some elevator music playing in the background.  You just have to be willing to drop into your belly to breathe and allow for however long you like the thoughts to flow by and not be attached to them.  

It can happen in a long grocery line, whilst you are watching your kids hockey practice, in the massive traffic jam on the M4.  One minute, that’s all you need.  One minute.  Just breathe, imagine yourself as a strong mountain and for one minute the thoughts that cross your mind are clouds.  Just puffy clouds that move with the wind in front of your face.  The more you take time to listen the more you hear. See Point 3 – You are never alone, but you need to allow space for the conversation.

Go Help Someone Else.  When you are feeling meh, and a sigh escapes your lips instead of a “Whoot!”  Go help someone else.  Why?  Because it gets you out of your own head and helping, service and doing something that benefits someone else makes you feel frigging awesome. (It probably makes the other person feel pretty darn good too).   This could be anything from volunteering at a non-profit who helps others, buying a sandwich (or making a sandwich) for the homeless guy.  Walking your elderly neighbor’s dog.  Weeding a friend’s garden as they are overwhelmed and could do with some help.  Anything.  Life is better when it’s not all about you……

Forgive, Release and Move On.  If your head and heart are filled with old, stale resentments, hurts, sore and raw trigger points where is the space for Joy?  There isn’t any.  It’s like receiving a gorgeous crystal chandelier that you have always wanted and opening up a stuffed, mouse ridden closet and cramming your gorgeous chandelier in there.  (Are you getting the picture?)  Personally I practice forgiveness daily.  Forgiveness for myself and where I messed up, or was too sharp, unkind or thoughtless with someone.  Forgiveness for others who have hurt me.  Forgiveness for a situation that I may or may not have created.  But seriously, I used to pack that crap like a steamer trunk behind me and there was no energy to look at the wonderful things that were right before me.

Gratitude is an Attitude!  Take time every day, every day (did I say every day) to be grateful.  I personally do it at night after I have done my Forgiveness practice and I go BIG!  I write down or speak out loud all the wonderful people, places, things, events, flowers, birds – you name it, that I am grateful for that day and WHY.  It doesn’t have to be a big thing to be a BIG thing.  It could be someone popped a quarter in your parking meter, a wonderful friend (who knows you eat like a horse) swung by with a raspberry cupcake iced to the hilt.  It could be your kid actually picked up their stinky soxs and put them – gulp – in the laundry basket!  Or it could be your dog greeted you with tail spinning exuberance and unconditional love when you got home after a long, trying day.  

To me Joy is in the day to day, there are always moments that I can tap into, mainly because I ensure that I am doing something that I know will provide the playground for that.  An example is nature for me, if I am feeling wibbly wobbly and disconnected and out of sorts.  I pull on my boots, grab the beasts and head up either into the woods or down to the water and breathe in the green, look for the flowers, pause at patches of clover to see if I can find a 4 leaf one (and I normally find a few a month) and then I frigging celebrate these gifts.  Why?  Because if I don’t, I don’t tap into that Joy that floods up through my toes and rushes through my body and makes my heart expand tenfold.  When I make a choice to look for it daily, the world is a far kinder, loving, welcoming place.    So delicious one, go out with your head held high, your heart open and a willingness to see, experience, smell and taste the gifts that have always been there, you might not have been willing to see them.  

Joy is foundational to your well being.  Joy is the fibre of your soul.  Joy is ever present and waiting for you to look over, wink and say welcome!

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Whether you’re soaking up the sunshine, dancing at a festival, or setting intentions for the season ahead, the Summer Solstice is a beautiful reminder to celebrate light, growth, and new beginnings. 🌼🌿

Take a moment to pause, feel the sun on your skin, and welcome the warmth and energy of summer. 🔥💫

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A celebration that is still delighted in by witch women, wise women and  wild women. 

So come celebrate  and do something that would have got you burned at the stake years ago!

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BIG Full Moon blessings and love to you.

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You don’t need a ritual.

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This Full Moon in Sagittarius is pointing the arrow to where you are meant to move towards.

Are you willing?

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One for each of the grandchildren so she can always participate in games. 

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I love this quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald. It c I love this quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald. 

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Wishing you a glorious June!

#june #fscottfitzgerald #onefairynight #sundayvibe #magick #wonder
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My doggos like most people, but when they don’t, I pay attention as they sense things I don’t. 

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