Release Old Stuff

New Year’s Resolutions? I think NOT!

This morning as I was grabbing some groceries, the woman ahead of me asked what my New Year’s resolutions were. I looked at her rather askance and said “I don’t make them as I don’t believe in that process as it doesn’t work for me.” She looked me up and down, gave me a “knowing” smile and turned away. Excuse me?

I used to be one of those people who when New Year’s Eve rolled up would be the first to list off my resolutions loud and proud – learn a new language, bungee jump 5 times in the year, become vegetarian – you name it. Do you know where those resolutions got me? Eating more meat, hating French class and being terrified of bungee jumping.

Was it because I had picked the ‘wrong’ resolution? No (well possibly when it came to bungee jumping as I’m not a fan of tall heights). It was just more a case of not being 110% committed, connected and filled with conviction for my resolution longer than about 2 months.

Think about it, if you are a regular gym goer, do you find yourself avoiding it in January? Why? Because everyone who has decided to lose weight, get in shape or improve their health buys a membership. What do you see come late February/early March – a much emptier gym. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not raining on anyone’s parade who wants to change something, improve something or learn something new.

However, my question is How Do You Want to Feel, whilst your doing whatever it is that you have chosen. When we make a resolution it is purely focused on “DO-ing”, not on the core state of “BE-ing”. In our culture we have been trained to the DO-HAVE-BE model. If I DO this, I will HAVE that and then I can BE happy. How about we flip it? Let’s work with the BE-DO-HAVE model. How do you want to BE? How do you want to feel all year? When you are faced with a challenge what is the BE-ing state you want to drop into, the BE-ing state to support your choices?

Feel? Feel? Yes Feel. Do you want to feel Joyful, Expansive, Radiant, Stronger, Sexier, Wealthier? How do you want to feel?

So are you willing to try something different?

About 7 or 8 years ago I ditched New Year’s resolutions and decided to go with a word (just one word), that I could hold like a touchstone in all areas of my life. A Word of the Year. This was an amazing tool that I learned from Christine Kane. This one simple word represented to me how I wanted to Feel, how I wanted to BE, which in turn massively encouraged me on the activities that I did and has created some wonderful impacts in my life.

As Christine Kane says; “ Let’s say you are one of the many people who would normally choose “Get Organized.” You’re tired of the chaos. So, you think, “I need to get organized. That should be my Resolution this year.” You look around and it feels as if areas of your life are out of control and overfilled with – blaugh.

You sit with your clutter. You spend a few days pondering words that will inspire you. You realize in an “Ah-Ha!” moment that you tend to cling to lots of things. You’re scared to let go, whether it is the trinket someone gave you, the old relationship, the clothes that don’t fit…..So maybe the word for you isn’t “organised”, maybe the word is “Release”. Thus, you choose the word “Release” because it inspires you in a bigger way than “Get organized.”

So, every time you approach your clutter or old relationship patterns you remind yourself of your word. “Release”. You start to let the clutter go. Eventually, you realize that you’re still holding on to lots more than just physical clutter. You realize that you hold onto resentments at old relationships. “Release,” you remind yourself. “Release” is your touchstone. It grows you throughout the year. It becomes your guiding force, not your harsh standard.

So for me in 2012 my word was Flourish and it was delicious to see what happened, in 2013 it was Desire and again it was mind blowing. 2014 was Expand, 2015 was Believe, 2016 was Radiant and 2017 was Trust. I’m still perking my word for 2018, there have been a few contestants, but I like to let it process whilst I reflect on this last year and what felt good and what didn’t feel good then from that place look at my desires and how do I want to feel with my family, my work, my clients, myself. So I would love to hear what your Word of the Year is going to be and why. If you need some help with picking your word, Christine has a lovely Word of the Year tool here, that is totally free.

Once I’ve picked my Word, I make sure that I have an image of it around my home, a little slip in my wallet and it goes in the front of my new planner for the year.

So what is your word going to be this Year?

When you wish upon a star……..

Jenny Heston · 3:19 pm ·

Eleven years ago, when my youngest was 2, I realised that although I used ritual and manifesting exercises in my life daily I tended to do that alone and not with my kids. So I created a new tradition to teach my kids about releasing, clarity, intention and manifesting.

The first weekend after New Years became our family new year’s celebration. It is a celebration which calls to all of us to release, get clear, focused and start a fresh.

As the skies start to darken in the late afternoon a feast is prepared and put on to gently burble away. Whilst it cooks we all gather in the living room with pieces of blank paper and pencils. Candles are lit, calming music is playing and the space is set. We each snuggle up into our corner and write (for the little ones that aren’t at that place yet, they draw).

What do we write?

Whatever we want to release personally, within a family structure, within our community and globally; some of us scribble away like mad fiends, others have less to write. But it’s all about letting go of habits, beliefs, behaviours, thoughts; ways of being that no longer serve.

We don’t share these things, these are deep and dark and private. It’s interesting to see how people fold their lists or what they turn them into when they are finished; everything from paper aeroplanes to pom-pom’s, to flowers. When everyone is done we don our coats and boots and go outside into the snow and the dark and set those gorgeous lists on fire. As the paper ignites the sparks get whipped up into the air, taking with it any residue or baggage and gently blowing it away.

The light and the warmth of the house beckon and when everything is burned to a crisp and released we all scurry inside and peel off our layers. The music changes and there are large stars cut out of Bristol Board. There are pens, crayons, glitter, shiny things, paints – you name it, all waiting to be used and to bedeck a star. Then whether it is with words, pictures or phrases you take the time to decorate your star as to what you would like to create/be/manifest/do in the upcoming year. It’s so fun to see what comes out for each person.

The intentions are set, the desires are launched like massive rockets and laughter abounds.

When the stars are finished we share them, we don’t need to explain them, just share. There are no questions; there is no judgement, after all each of these are personal. Then when the tidy up is completed and glitter has been wiped away we all sit around a gorgeously laid table and share in a wonderful feast and the stars get placed on the kitchen wall so that every day we can read them, look at them and think – YES!

We have carried on with this tradition now for 11 years, and some of the stars have become more complex and some have become simpler. Some years the decorating of them seems to take hours and other years it is more a case of pouring out the yearnings, desires, intentions and goals in written words all over the star.

This year we did our stars on the weekend and one of the boys asked if I kept the ones from the prior year. I have kept them all. So I went and dug through a box and hauled them all out, the kids were amazed to find that a lot of their wishes, visions and desires from a year or so ago had all happened. They had created and manifested the intentions and wishes they had written on their stars.

It made me laugh and think of the song that Jiminy Cricket sang to Pinocchio – When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you. When you wish upon a star your dreams come true.

Gratitude and value will improve your money…..

Jenny Heston · 2:28 am ·

I am a huge proponent of Gratitude – every night I write 10 things that I am grateful for that day. When I reflect back on what I have written, the majority of them are about other people – kids, family, situations and events that I have participated in with friends, outside things such as my home, my garden, not so much about ME.

Have you ever taken time to really, REALLY appreciate how frigging amazing you are? How valued you are? Or do you define your value based on what others think?

As humans we often base our perceptions of ourselves on what others think, your friend said you were good at baking – so you value that. Your 5^th grade teacher told you you were great at Math, so you focused on Math. A choir leader told you that your voice was grating, so now you don’t sing. Your boss told you you were inept but you weren’t.

Who defines your value?

I have a fun exercise that I invite you to try daily. The School of Positive Psychology says – a habit is created in 21 days. So let’s create a habit that really supports you and allows you to relax into how amazing and wonderful you are and how bright your light shines and how your light impacts people whether you realise it or not. Watch what happens…..

So here we go, either first thing in the morning or as you are heading to bed, write down 3 things – that’s it, just 3 things that you value about YOURSELF.

Don’t be vague and ambiguous. An example being – “I’m healthy.” Cool, that is great, but does it stir an emotion in you? What does healthy feel like and look like for you? How about something a tad more specific such as:- “I am strong, flexible and healthy; my legs are toned and my arms are strong.” Does that evoke a more emotional response?

Here’s the challenge. Can you write 3 things a day for 21 days that you VALUE ABOUT YOURSELF? If you have always over committed, said yes to everything and put other people’s needs first all the time this will be a delicious challenge for YOU.

There is a caveat. There is no repeating. In other words, if you have written 3 things you can’t repeat them. You need to dig and explore and like an Archaeologist find more things that you value about YOU. Trust me; you are an untapped mine and you will be able to go for years, let alone 21 days.

If you are game and do this process watch what happens. In the past when someone complimented you did you brush it off and dismiss it with a “Yeah whatever, anyone could do this.” You go out to breakfast with a friend who pays the tab. In the past you may have had a debate about who is going to pay. As you didn’t value yourself and weren’t open to receiving.

All I can say is STOP! You as a person, a human a being on this planet and part of the mixed community are important and valued. Take a deep breath and when that compliment comes – smile and receive it. When your friend offers to buy you breakie, grin with a full tummy and say “Thank you”.

If you really, truly value yourself you are open to receiving.

So let go of any control issues, sit back in a comfy chair, grab something to write on/with and really start appreciating YOU. This isn’t selfish or narcissistic. It’s a case of you being the tenacious archaeologist and discovering how delightful, delicious you are and the gift that you are right here, right now.

BREATHE AND REVEL.

Cutting the ties that bind.

Jenny Heston · 1:06 am ·

Do you ever think of your life as a gorgeous tapestry where are all the various threads of your different relationships are woven together to create an amazing picture that you revel in? I do.

Another way I look at it is one of those deep piled, soft, richly coloured, warm, plush blankets. Each person in my life has a colour distinctive to them and they wend and wind throughout my blanket. Sometimes those threads overlap others and are dominant in an area, in other areas of the blanket they aren’t as present, and instead there is a different colour. However, it is the combination of all those relationship threads that make such a sumptuous blanket that you know at any time you can wrap yourself up in it and just revel and absorb the energy and feel totally safe, loved and appreciated. [Read more…] about Cutting the ties that bind.

Release Old Stuff

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