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Gratitude

10 Lessons from the Garden.

Jenny Heston · 4:32 pm ·

I hated gardening as a kid. Hated it with a passion. I would be given a tiny square of the garden and a plethora of seeds and advised heavily on how to plant them, what they needed etc.  Daily I would be told to go water them and tend them – urrrghhh.  Why did my parents hate me so much!!!  Then the weeds came and I would be forced to go pull them out.  I didn’t want to as I didn’t want to be there, I had friends to play with, stuff to do and meh! So the weeds would take over the radishes, nasturtiums or whatever I had planted and I was totally okay with that..  

Interestingly enough when I became a mumma,  as my kids hit about 3 I would encourage them to come out to the garden, play in the dirt, eat worms, plant something.  Some most certainly came and played and others resisted highly, so I didn’t push it.  I would throw manure, dirt, straw and compost into a bed and some of the kids would dive in and swim in it all and mix it up for me. Others would run screaming back into the house!

As an adult I love to garden.  I love to grow our own food so we always have a massive veggie garden wherever we go.  We have certain flowers that we really enjoy looking at and their scent fills  the air when we are sitting outside and eating dinner, and having a fresh herb garden to enhance my cooking (did I say cooking is not my forte?) – hells to the yes!

Dirt is soothing.  When stressed – playing in the dirt and tending a garden helps to reconnect you back to your body, pulls you out of your head and connects you to the the glorious mother earth.  In a study in the Netherlands (as reported by CNN), two groups of students were told to either read indoors or garden for thirty minutes AFTER completing a stressful task. The group that gardened reported being in a better mood than the group that read. And they also exhibited lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.

Plants don’t judge!  Sometimes we need to share our fears, stories, embarrassments or hopes and desires with someone, just to unpack them and say them outloud.  Make sure you pick someone who can really hear you, honour you and not ridicule you.  If you don’t have someone safe to do that with talk to the plants.

Deadhead.  When the flowers are done, it’s important to either trim them back or just remove their heads.  This in turn tidies up the garden and allows for some varieties of flowers to rebloom.  This is like de-cluttering your space.  If your home, office, studio are in chaos then your mind is often in chaos, you can’t find things, you open the door and get overwhelmed by the mess (so you quickly close the door).  Tidying your space and putting things where they are meant to be as well as getting rid of the things that you don’t use any more creates huge physical, emotional and mental space for new and vibrant things to come in.

Weeds.  They creep in and if you ignore them they take over everything choking out the flowers, the tomatoes, wrapping themselves up the corn stalks, and where you thought you were going to have beans – you just have weeds!  This is like stinky thinking.  If you don’t pay attention to your thoughts and limiting beliefs and weed them out regularly with mindful practices your mind can become like a weed choked garden – green, but not productive, and not very pretty!

Sometimes a plant needs to be moved as it isn’t thriving and growing, due to lack of light or nutrients in the the soil, or it’s getting crowded out by something else.  This is the same with relationships, some are nourishing and some aren’t and for your own well being sometimes you just need to smile, say thanks and move on to where you can thrive and grow.

If you have a single fruit tree, bees help.  They don’t care where the tree is, their job is to pollinate and this in turn serves by helping that tree produce fruit.    You may feel that you are all on your own, but in reality if you stepped out the door and went and volunteered somewhere, or went and helped someone else you would find that you are fully supported and can produce fruit from your time and labour.  Be the Bee!

The weather can do a lot to help plants grow, but plants also need love, attention, nutrition and fertiliser.  Like humans!  We need healthy food, water, love, attention, activities that nourish us, and a spiritual practice that feed us.  With these things we flourish, bloom and grow in extraordinary ways.

So you planted a seed, what’s the first thing to come up?  Dirt!  Dirt gets pushed up and out of the way as the sprout grows and reaches toward the sun.  This is the same as when we implement something new in our lives, whether it is a mindset change, a new way of eating, going to the gym, trying something new, releasing an old habit – you name it.  The Ego kicks up front and centre and will try to convince you this is a dumb idea, but if you just see it as the dirt coming up before that lovely new habit pushes through and throws down strong roots, you are all good.

There are always bugs, one moment you are sitting in your garden feeling very zen and happy and then something flies into your ear or up your nose – don’t freak out (though a bug up the nose is very annoying) – just remove it and carry on.  Don’t make that “5 minutes of bug up the nose” an all day event, or an excuse.  Someone says something critical or rude to you – pick it out of your nose and let it go.  Don’t spend the whole day obsessing about it and wallowing in the things you could have said, what did they mean exactly etc. etc.

Creating a gorgeous garden can take longer than you think – don’t judge it, map it out, stay focused, give it attention, be patient and slowly do it.  Like life.  If you want to be a top athlete, play the bagpipes, be a world renowned speaker, it takes time, attention and patience.  But the daily results and the masterpiece are so frigging worth it.

Happy Gardening.

jennysign2 (2)

Transformation and a Dogwood tree…

Jenny Heston · 4:55 pm ·

DogwoodI don’t know about you but the word Transform or the phrase “This person experienced a transformation” seem to be popping up a lot lately.  Me being me I used to be open to this concept but also a tad skeptical.  Can someone really transform?  Can that really happen?

So a little story for you.  Grab a cuppa tea and let’s chat.

18 years ago my Dad died suddenly and in his honour I bought a Dogwood tree, as that was his favourite tree, and fairly much daily he and I would go explore and hike with dogs together. I put his ashes under the tree and planted it with great care and surrounded it with all the herbs and flowers he loved.

5 years after that my youngest was born.  So in his honour and celebration I bought a plum tree and put the placenta underneath it when it was planted. Both trees grew happily, healthily and strongly until the goats got out. Now if you don’t know anything about goats, they will eat almost anything!  In fact I have seen them eat tin cans and tires!

Thus, one day the goats busted out of their pen when no one was around and they did an amazing job on the dogwood and turned it into a small stump and then proceeded to have a good nibble on the plum tree.  I carefully bandaged up the dogwood and the plum with hockey tape (as that was all I had), gave them lots of nutrients and hoped for the best.

11 years ago I moved from that property after an abusive marriage and there was no way I was going to leave those trees there.  So I dug up the dogwood and all the dirt around it and under it, I also dug up the plum tree, wrapped its roots and soil in a sheet and took them both with me, along with my belongings and my kids. At our new home the kids and I dug a great big hole, and as I looked at this stump of a dogwood tree I decided it would be best to chop it up and put it and all its dirt into the hole and plant the plum tree on top. Which is what we did.

5 years later I noticed that the plum tree leaves were changing and no longer was it producing a gorgeous little plum or two.  Odd.  I took a good look at the leaves and couldn’t figure out what was happening to them – okay this is odd.  

Very odd.

Over the next 4 years there were no plums, the leaves were totally different and there were no blossoms at all, but there was a sense of transformation. Then last year for the first time it blossomed, just a few mindst you. Whoot, whoot, plums again.

No.

The blooms were gorgeous but they were a dogwood flower!  Excuse me?  How, Why, What?  I had and still have no clue.  

Today, I walked outside and it was as if the tree exploded!

There are over 200 blooms on it and they are all dogwood flowers which have now become one of my most favourite flowers.

So if you ever doubt the capacity to transform, remember this tree.

If you ever doubt your strength to hold your center and BE, remember this tree (after all it was cut up and in a hole).

If you ever doubt your ability to blossom and thrive against all odds, remember this tree.

Happy transforming!

jennysign2 (2)

 

Gratitude and value will improve your money…..

Jenny Heston · 2:28 am ·

GratitudeI am a huge proponent of Gratitude – every night I write 10 things that I am grateful for that day.  When I reflect back on what I have written, the majority of them are about other people – kids, family, situations and events that I have participated in with friends, outside things such as my home, my garden, not so much about ME.

Have you ever taken time to really, REALLY appreciate how frigging amazing you are?  How valued you are?  Or do you define your value based on what others think?

As humans we often base our perceptions of ourselves on what others think, your friend said you were good at baking – so you value that.  Your 5th grade teacher told you you were great at Math, so you focused on Math.  A choir leader told you that your voice was grating, so now you don’t sing.  Your boss told you you were inept but you weren’t.

Who defines your value?

I have a fun exercise that I invite you to try daily.  The School of Positive Psychology says – a habit is created in 21 days.  So let’s create a habit that really supports you and allows you to relax into how amazing and wonderful you are and how bright your light shines and how your light impacts people whether you realise it or not.  Watch what happens…..

So here we go, either first thing in the morning or as you are heading to bed, write down 3 things – that’s it, just 3 things that you value about YOURSELF.

Don’t be vague and ambiguous.  An example being – “I’m healthy.”  Cool, that is great, but does it stir an emotion in you?  What does healthy feel like and look like for you?  How about something a tad more specific such as:- “I am strong, flexible and healthy; my legs are toned and my arms are strong.”  Does that evoke a more emotional response?

Here’s the challenge.   Can you write 3 things a day for 21 days that you VALUE ABOUT YOURSELF?  If you have always over committed, said yes to everything and put other people’s needs first all the time this will be a delicious challenge for YOU.

There is a caveat.  There is no repeating.  In other words, if you have written 3 things you can’t repeat them.  You need to dig and explore and like an Archaeologist find more things that you value about YOU.  Trust me; you are an untapped mine and you will be able to go for years, let alone 21 days.

If you are game and do this process watch what happens.  In the past when someone complimented you did you brush it off and dismiss it with a “Yeah whatever, anyone could do this.”  You go out to breakfast with a friend who pays the tab.  In the past you may have had a debate about who is going to pay.  As you didn’t value yourself and weren’t open to receiving.

All I can say is STOP!  You as a person, a human a being on this planet and part of the mixed community are important and valued.  Take a deep breath and when that compliment comes – smile and receive it.  When your friend offers to buy you breakie, grin with a full tummy and say “Thank you”.

If you really, truly value yourself you are open to receiving.

So let go of any control issues, sit back in a comfy chair, grab something to write on/with and really start appreciating YOU.  This isn’t selfish or narcissistic.  It’s a case of you being the tenacious archaeologist and discovering how delightful, delicious you are and the gift that you are right here, right now.

BREATHE AND REVEL.

 

 

 

 

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